Day 2 – 10 months

Today I complete 10 months in Melbourne. Where did time fly?

I still remember crossing the airport security gates, and thinking, “What am I getting myself into?”, “Do I really want to be alone and start from scratch at 23?”, “What about ‘the one’?“. I was excited but sad. Looking forward to a new adventure in the unknown while leaving behind comfort and familiarity. Excitement is great but the moment you feel sad about something, what is it worth? Change is a tough battle I’m still finding my way around. Sometimes you give in, other times you resist, hard.

Funny thing, I just realised I’m wearing the same top I wore the day I left home. As I try to put my emotions down in black and white, I hold on to this piece of clothing as a memory I never want to lose. For the first time in eight years, my mum and I hugged each other in a way that meant goodbye (even if it was temporary at the time) and I didn’t want to let go. She said she loved like it may be the last time (for a while). I’ve feared that fleeting emotion for a long time, and here it was, wrapping itself around us.

We cried, we held on, we let go.

The thing with travel is that your journey is accompanied with a sense of uncertainty, whether you’re one to fear it or not. There’s a big “what if?” looming over your decisions and prospects. And we’ll never truly know, will we? We’ll never know the end-game no matter what.

Here I am, 10 months later, still uncertain of what’s to come. Still holding on to that hug and love.

Today’s tune – Unsteady by X Ambassadors.

Day 2 – 5 May 2017.
364 days to go.

Thanks for listening and if you relate, say hello, please and thank you.

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