Day 16 – Where is the love?

Not every day will be good day, but I wish today wasn’t one of those bad ones.

I was talking to three of my best friends today and somehow, all our conversations ended up in either a fight or us hanging up cold. I called one, and then the other and then it happened again. Was it me or were we all just having bad days? None of the people or conversations were connected. I just needed comfort from my mains, but somehow they all put me in a spot I didn’t want to be in. I had a tough week and I needed to feel at home. I needed to feel at home with these people, my people. But we couldn’t work it out, not today anyway.

Fighting long distance is tough. It is exhausting to be told you’re not the same anymore or that you don’t make enough time for (old) friends. It is exhausting to be reminded that you’re away and that it was your own choice. It is exhausting to be told that you’re not trying enough. It hurts when they fight instead of talk, like the distance isn’t hard enough. It’s worse when there is silence and no reason. It hurts when they hang up. I hate fighting long distance over calls and texts, and waking up the next day pretending like nothing happened. It is most exhausting to constantly bottle it in from different people all at once. In the end, it was your choice to move away and you have to live with it. And I can, I am and I will.

But where is the love?

Today was just a bad day among the good ones we otherwise have and I wouldn’t judge my relationships based on this. It still is tough though. Hopefully tomorrow gets better.

To my other friends reading this, yes I know I have you and I love you.

Today’s tune: Free Fallin’ by John Mayer.

Day 16 – 19 May 2017.
350 days to go.

Thanks for listening and if you relate, say hello, please and thank you.

1 thought on “Day 16 – Where is the love?”

  1. Oh darling, I understand perfectly how hard this can be. I’ve been in your shoes a few times myself. I promise the love is right there, in fact irs the love that leads to that discontentment and fight. I mean it means they care enough to get mad? The alternative that nothing matters to them enough to get mad, that’s when you should wonder about where the love is? PS: in a phone call away or a short trip away if you ever need a friend. I love you.

    Liked by 1 person

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