Mum messaged me this afternoon telling me how she couldn’t stop crying because she missed him. For forty-five minutes on my bus this morning, I couldn’t stop crying because of how much I missed him. I cried again then because of how much I missed her. I couldn’t stop crying because for the first time in a long time I felt lonely. And like every other year since 2008, I was back in the ICU lost and alone.
Exactly a year ago, I handed in my resignation to a job I loved very much. In retrospect (pun intended), it was not the job that made leaving difficult, it was the people. More importantly, it was this one person I couldn’t imagine leaving behind. I wasn’t ready to watch her move on with someone else. I felt like a selfish child, not ready or willing to share her mum with her friends.
Over the last few months, I have been so lucky to foster and share a beautiful relationship with one of my mum’s friends. Thirty five years of friendship, and one year of unbiased and unconditional motherhood. If anything, this special relationship has taught me that family is not always blood related.
In our culture, when a child is baptised he/she has godparents chosen by their parents. Their purpose is to support the child, and be that unconventional guiding force and friend. When my mum chose my godmother, I wasn’t given someone to be my guardian. My godmother has been my second mother, sister, and girlfriend all wrapped in one.
Today, I kept looking at everyone share so many beautiful thoughts and messages for their mums. Some in spirit and some in the flesh. My heart has been filled with so much love and gratitude. I haven’t felt this happy in a while. Reading every post only made me realise how much unconditional love still exists in the world. There is no love like that of a mother’s.
Mother of six (and two dogs), grandmother of eleven. She was a woman of steel. As the eldest granddaughter, I was lucky to have spent my childhood with her.
He was coming back after so long. It didn’t make sense, even in the dream. We were used to him being away for nine months, but nine years?
It was only just a dream.